Lessons learned

Lately I've been putting a lot of question marks on many of my actions regarding my relationships and career decisions throughout my life. That's because when you are looking through your rear view mirror, things look a lot different, especially after having learned a few lessons along the way. 

 

Last year I dedicated myself to writing about my relationship with God and how it got me so far. And I learned a whole lot about being a Christian and what that all means. But I still didn't get a lot about being a person.

 

In the process of growing up (which was stunted for many years during my twenties) I had to learn about dealing with other people.  I thought that Christians should act and think a certain way and non-religious people another way.

 

The most important things I've learned so far are these:

 

1) Whether you are in a church or not, being decent is fundamental to getting along with others.

 

2) Growing up in a different culture means that YOU have to adapt to others and it's sometimes going to go against what you stand for. So make sure you have something to stand for at all. If not, you will surely be dragged along like a sheep with the latest fad.

 

3) I have constantly changed my opinions and choices to fit into other people's expectations of me and many times I've lost my way trying to please them. Being liked for who I am was often not the case. I was loved conditionally if I did or gave something of me in return for what I most craved for: acceptance. And it will always be this way so you have to learn to distinguish who is good for you and who isn't.

 

4) Being humble is nothing to be ashamed of. Asking for forgiveness even if you are right is an act that not many people are willing to do. It doesn't mean you are weak at all! But sometimes being meek and offering the other cheek might make the difference between a friendship or an eternal grudge. That is strength!

 

5)Many people out there expect to always be right, always be stronger and get their way. That's just how the world works. It doesn't matter if Christian or not, people in general have the tendency to go over weaker people and take charge. 

 

6)Serving others doesn't mean humilliating yourself or letting yourself be treated as less. Serving means you are giving freely a bit of you. Serving means to be at an eye-to-eye level and lend a helping hand.

 

7) Some people are just not meant to stay around in your life. Like my sister always said, some people are there for a reason, a season or a lifetime. If they are meant to leave, don't try to make them stay. It will just hurt a lot to go against the unavoidable. Learn the lesson they were there to teach, apreciate what they brought into your life and move on. It's been the hardest lesson of all so far!

 

8) It's ok to change your mind. You can let go of the things that aren't working for you. Trying out new stuff only broadens your horizons. Getting out of the comfort zone is really refreshing sometimes.

 

9) You will only have a handful of people you can really call friends. The ones that have proven to be worthy of your trust are worthy of your heart. Not everyone deserves to be your friend nor should they be trusted with your most valuable posessions: your feelings, ideas and trust.

 

Have you had any specific lessons drilled into you lately?