Too quick to judge

I have been looking for inspiration for my entry this past week and I seem to be circling around one particular thing that keeps popping up every day: judgement.

To tell you the truth, I do it too. If I see a guy with a weird look in his face holding a knife, you bet I will run the other way screaming. That is an extreme case, though. But what about the subtle little ways we judge people every day? Because they are ugly, fat, stupid, wear ugly clothes, have little money, have a lisp....

I won't paint it pretty, the market for overweight, unemployed, single moms is rather... ok non-existent! But what about my kid? She is a beautiful, sweet, timid and sporty girl. She has it hard too. Nobody is free of judgement.

I get it that people feel safe when they can give things a name and put them securely in a drawer. I get it that it saves a lot of time and effort to not see things as an individuum but as a group.

I unfortunately (FOR NOW) belong to a very unpopular group of people with no income and am still looking for an apartment. I was told by a complete stranger today that I am crippling society. And that we foreigners should go back to our countries instead of living off of Germany. On top of that, she said that she would not even bother to contact the landlady who had an apartment because she didn't want to "inconvenience her with someone like me". THOSE WERE HER WORDS EXACTLY! I know, I am still in shock!

But I forgive her because she made a mistake. She doesn't know me or the circumstances. She doesn't know what to expect of me personally. But maybe she had a bad experience with somebody else before and is seeing the "problem" staring her in the face again. She put me in the drawer of the "undesirable customers". This could hurt if I took it personally, but...

Fortunately for me, I have a pair of magic glasses I can put on in the morning. And when I see people through these glasses, I can look in detail and find that a person is sad, angry, disappointed. Not at me, but at their situation or experiences and they lash out. I see that that girl on the next block is not a whore, but a child who needs a lot of love because she never got it outside a bed. I see the angry man in the car who is frustrated. He isn't angry at me for crossing the street, he just had a hard day at work and really wants to go home. I am not mad at the lady at the shop who treated me like crap. Her boss chewed her out in front of everybody else a few minutes ago.
These magical glasses are called GRACE.

The one thing that stops hate and bad vibes on their tracks is love. That is why Jesus said to love one another.
It is not normally in my nature to be this nice. But I feel good when I know that I am not perpetuating hate.

I am trying to teach Nora to look beyond the insults too. School can be a pretty hard place to survive, even if you are perfect and beautiful. Some kids make fun of her, they shove, slap, kick and are generally mean to my little one. But she has to see also that for some kids, this is what they get at home too. What can you expect from little boys who see that their mom gets slapped around? Or are usually screamed at instead of talked to?

There are many drawers we can put people into. I choose to look through the glass of grace into the details. Only then can I choose to put someone in the drawer of "friends" or "diplomatic acquaintances" or even "serial killer with axe".

Have you ever put someone in a drawer and noticed that they were totally not what they looked like at first glance?