Back in 2010, I had almost all my life under control (or so I thought). I had a job, financial security, an apartment, my kid, Nora, was doing ok in school. I had nice collegues. I was in control and happy about it. I had no need to go to church. I was mastering life!
But life has a way of throwing you to the curve in a matter of moments when you least expect it.
One day late Spring, I went swimming with Nora. We got out of the water and I turned around to hand her a towel. In that moment, my kneecap popped out of the socket and I broke the femur from the fall. The fall caused a rip on most of the tendons of my left knee and I could not feel my toes. I had nerve damage. I had to have surgery immediately, after having to go through all the tests humanly available.
I remember looking up at the doctors and nurses before the operation. I was so scared, cold and in such pain that every part of my body was shaking. The scariest part of all was having to give up control and be completely vulnerable on an operating table, not knowing if the doctor was going to do a good job or leave me crippled for life.
I had to be in a wheelchair for at least 3 months before finding out if the operation had been a succes. The pain was unbearable during recovery and worst of all, I had had a bad reaction to the pain killers. So nothing could ease the pain for a longer period of time. On top of that, I had no friends or family to take care of us. So it was either oven pizza or ramen soup for us girls to eat. Nora made the food. I would only eat once a day because Nora would eat cereal for breakfast and have lunch in school. I had also recently found out that somebody else had been already hired to take over my job. And my finances were starting to look bad. I had no money left in my savings account. I was all alone in my misery, having to take care of my little one on my own and bear this ordeal with a smile.
I remember 3 weeks after surgery, I was laying on the sofa in the middle of the night, barely breathing so as not to cause any part of my body to move, sweating, shaking with pain. My leg was so swollen that even touching any part of my thigh would send a lightning of pain in all directions. I had not slept for days and was sinking fast into the bottomless pit of despair.
So I lay there and the only thing that went through my mind was "GOD I can't do this anymore. I can't do this by myself. Please help me." That was my first prayer in years. If you know intense pain, you know what it feels like to want to die. That night, I really wanted to just stop breathing and give up the fight. At some point after crying my eyes out, I fell asleep filled with exhaustion, sadness and desperation.
The next day, I woke up to the sound of the telephone. It was my mom in law. We hadn't spoken to each other in weeks. She was calling because she wanted to bring food, cook for us and help me out by cleaning up the apartment. A few days later my nanny called to ask me if I needed anything from the supermarket. Then the next day, a friend asked me if I needed help in anything else. And he came over and did my laundry. I saw him take out the trash and realized that THAT was precisely what I had prayed for that night when I was ready to give up. As it became clear to me, I broke into tears of gratefulness. Now I am sure that God was sitting next to me, He was suffering all those nights right there with me in my living room. God was waiting patiently until I asked for His help. And His powers began just as mine were depleted.
Our relationship began when I was broken. God did not wait for me to be free of sin and in perfect health to come into my life. God is a gentleman who waits at the door until He is invited in.
I was motivated to walk again and things, although really difficult, became somehow manageable. With the help of the people around us, we somehow survived round one.
And then came round two, the operation on the other knee. I did everything in my power to control the outcome. I cleaned the house, did a huge grocery list and prepared for the following feat. And then on the night before when everything in my power was done, came the doubts, the worries, the fear of the oncoming pain and recovery, the memory of the exact same thing happening a few months ago, the horrors repeating themseves, the full knowledge of what was going to happen next, having to give up control and be vulnerable and in huge amounts of pain all. over. again.
The next morning I was in the same operating room, the same doctors hovered around. My body was shaking with dread and I closed my eyes. I prayed: "God please don't let anything bad happen during this operation!"
And then I heard a voice calling my name. I saw an angel standing next to me and his face was kind. He said: "Don't worry Maria, you are not alone in this room. WE are here to giude the hands of the surgeons. Everything will be ok. Rest and be at peace."
I fell asleep and woke up again with lots of pain. I knew this would happen. I was mentally prepared for this. But not for what the doctors said next: "Ms. L," they said, "the operation went even better than we thought. Your recovery time will be less than half of last time and we were able to correct all the ligaments on your knee." I knew God was there too, next to me in that hospital room, cheering.
You see, God is never far away from those who seek Him truly. No matter where we are in our lives, He comes and meets us in our time of need, at our lowest, when we shake our fist up to heaven and ask where He is. When there is nothing left in this world to console us, then there is God.
When I look back, I am really grateful for having had those surgeries. Life was not great at all, not without God in it. And having had a break from the whole world, having to dig deep into who and what I was, was a real eye-opener. It removed the clutter and brought to light the things that are really important.
Prayer is important, it moves people and makes things fall into place.
Friendships are important, God may work though others to help us out.
Family is important, so we can recharge our batteries with their love and care.
And faith is important, because without it, we have no hope for anything good in the future.
This was my blessing in disgiuise. This was the new beginning, the baby steps toward a supernatural life. Have you had a blessing in disguise too?
But life has a way of throwing you to the curve in a matter of moments when you least expect it.
One day late Spring, I went swimming with Nora. We got out of the water and I turned around to hand her a towel. In that moment, my kneecap popped out of the socket and I broke the femur from the fall. The fall caused a rip on most of the tendons of my left knee and I could not feel my toes. I had nerve damage. I had to have surgery immediately, after having to go through all the tests humanly available.
I remember looking up at the doctors and nurses before the operation. I was so scared, cold and in such pain that every part of my body was shaking. The scariest part of all was having to give up control and be completely vulnerable on an operating table, not knowing if the doctor was going to do a good job or leave me crippled for life.
I had to be in a wheelchair for at least 3 months before finding out if the operation had been a succes. The pain was unbearable during recovery and worst of all, I had had a bad reaction to the pain killers. So nothing could ease the pain for a longer period of time. On top of that, I had no friends or family to take care of us. So it was either oven pizza or ramen soup for us girls to eat. Nora made the food. I would only eat once a day because Nora would eat cereal for breakfast and have lunch in school. I had also recently found out that somebody else had been already hired to take over my job. And my finances were starting to look bad. I had no money left in my savings account. I was all alone in my misery, having to take care of my little one on my own and bear this ordeal with a smile.
I remember 3 weeks after surgery, I was laying on the sofa in the middle of the night, barely breathing so as not to cause any part of my body to move, sweating, shaking with pain. My leg was so swollen that even touching any part of my thigh would send a lightning of pain in all directions. I had not slept for days and was sinking fast into the bottomless pit of despair.
So I lay there and the only thing that went through my mind was "GOD I can't do this anymore. I can't do this by myself. Please help me." That was my first prayer in years. If you know intense pain, you know what it feels like to want to die. That night, I really wanted to just stop breathing and give up the fight. At some point after crying my eyes out, I fell asleep filled with exhaustion, sadness and desperation.
The next day, I woke up to the sound of the telephone. It was my mom in law. We hadn't spoken to each other in weeks. She was calling because she wanted to bring food, cook for us and help me out by cleaning up the apartment. A few days later my nanny called to ask me if I needed anything from the supermarket. Then the next day, a friend asked me if I needed help in anything else. And he came over and did my laundry. I saw him take out the trash and realized that THAT was precisely what I had prayed for that night when I was ready to give up. As it became clear to me, I broke into tears of gratefulness. Now I am sure that God was sitting next to me, He was suffering all those nights right there with me in my living room. God was waiting patiently until I asked for His help. And His powers began just as mine were depleted.
Our relationship began when I was broken. God did not wait for me to be free of sin and in perfect health to come into my life. God is a gentleman who waits at the door until He is invited in.
I was motivated to walk again and things, although really difficult, became somehow manageable. With the help of the people around us, we somehow survived round one.
And then came round two, the operation on the other knee. I did everything in my power to control the outcome. I cleaned the house, did a huge grocery list and prepared for the following feat. And then on the night before when everything in my power was done, came the doubts, the worries, the fear of the oncoming pain and recovery, the memory of the exact same thing happening a few months ago, the horrors repeating themseves, the full knowledge of what was going to happen next, having to give up control and be vulnerable and in huge amounts of pain all. over. again.
The next morning I was in the same operating room, the same doctors hovered around. My body was shaking with dread and I closed my eyes. I prayed: "God please don't let anything bad happen during this operation!"
And then I heard a voice calling my name. I saw an angel standing next to me and his face was kind. He said: "Don't worry Maria, you are not alone in this room. WE are here to giude the hands of the surgeons. Everything will be ok. Rest and be at peace."
I fell asleep and woke up again with lots of pain. I knew this would happen. I was mentally prepared for this. But not for what the doctors said next: "Ms. L," they said, "the operation went even better than we thought. Your recovery time will be less than half of last time and we were able to correct all the ligaments on your knee." I knew God was there too, next to me in that hospital room, cheering.
You see, God is never far away from those who seek Him truly. No matter where we are in our lives, He comes and meets us in our time of need, at our lowest, when we shake our fist up to heaven and ask where He is. When there is nothing left in this world to console us, then there is God.
When I look back, I am really grateful for having had those surgeries. Life was not great at all, not without God in it. And having had a break from the whole world, having to dig deep into who and what I was, was a real eye-opener. It removed the clutter and brought to light the things that are really important.
Prayer is important, it moves people and makes things fall into place.
Friendships are important, God may work though others to help us out.
Family is important, so we can recharge our batteries with their love and care.
And faith is important, because without it, we have no hope for anything good in the future.
This was my blessing in disgiuise. This was the new beginning, the baby steps toward a supernatural life. Have you had a blessing in disguise too?
